American Sitcom

'What is Sister, Sister.' 

As I put on my Vaseline while looking out the window - to my surprise and frustration I thought - imagine if the roof just caved in, on you. Right now, this moment. Finished.   

My sisters are the most precious things to me in this world, the greatest team I have belonged to. I would move mountains and kill beasts with my bare hands to honour them.  

Since all this has been going down the one person I feel I am constantly letting down is my sister, she is the most wonderful person to grace this world and I am not saying this because she is my sister.  

I have spent numerous nights hoping and wishing my illness does not have an impact on her. I have spent many hours praying she never understands what I am going through.  

On my darkest bleakest days she is the silver lining. I don't think she will ever understand what she gave me when I had nothing to give to myself.

Tiffany Gouche

At first I thought 'garddamn if this isn't a bitter song I don't know what could be.'

Then I revelled in the honesty and vulnerability of the song the longer it played.

'Baby I hope someone breaks your heart 

So you know what it feels to be a victim'  

In moments of hurt its very easy to wish ill on whomever wronged you.  

When Tiffany sings  

'Broken hearted, torn apart and I don’t know if I am gonna make it'  

You feel the hurt and despair.  

Tiffany has a wonderful way of letting her true emotions seep in between the words, momentary you feel her pain, anger and disappointment.

This is someone who needs to express these emotions. 

I am really learning the importance of being careful with what is vocalised; but in the same vain, the importance of being true to oneself. I am learning that in order to heal one must acknowledge  pain quite honestly. One must find a way in which to express this pain, sometimes the path to exploring and acknowledging pain is more violent but the healing always comes.

This is the kind of song one writes immediately after finding out their matey has fucked up.

Maybe my opinion on this may change in time, but if Juliet has upset you, let Juliet know she has upset you and why she has upset you. This for me has meant that I am more aware when I transfer pain from the source to a civilian. 

Tiffany, what a fucking babe. 

P.s - However I am also learning that sometimes even telling Juliet is a waste of energy, sometimes just let it go. Acknowledge Juliet is a cunt and let it go, unless you really have to tell her. But you have to decide when to tell her and when to roll your eyes.  

Isms, Phobias and Us

'Well to be honest I voted Brexit because I have had enough of the immigrants, she says this nonchalantly as she sips her tea. Milky, one sugar, as the rest of the group grunts in agreement, the conversation moves to detailed talk of immigrants coming for their jobs, schools and what have you. It's at this point I can't help but roll my eyes in frustration.  

This essentially is a safe space, a place where trans, and questioning people can come for support, and to socialise. Imagine a young black second generation person desperately looking for a safe space walking into that. 

Its undeniable that racism is as British as beans on toast, Islamophobia, homophobia and sexism as British as chicken tikka masala.  

Why we act shocked, flabbergasted bamboozled, when we find out that trans women of colour are at the worse end of anti trans violent sentiment is beyond me.

The lack of UK statistics and studies concerning trans people and particularly trans people of colour, means we relay extensively on figures produced in the USA as a starting point, both countries are built on structural and systematic racism, its safe to assume the findings will not differ drastically. 

While the details of individual cases aren't always readily available, the intersections of race, gender, sexual identity and transphobia conspire to deprive trans people access to employment, housing, healthcare and other necessities, this coupled with reports of islamaphobia and racism in trans spaces, people of colour will join groups and not last long within them, isolating them further.

My friends of colour can go into detailed analysis of the systematic racism and my queer identifying friends can speak candidly of the homophobia in straight places and how they feel this limits them. However whenever we speak of the injustices faced by trans women and especially black trans women all the aforementioned groups act as though their homophobia, racism and bigotry do not push these women to the barren outlands of society.  

When 49% of a population group reports having contemplated suicide and 41% of the same group reporting homelessness at what point does the urgency for action come into play. According to a 2018 USA study in conjunction with National LGBTQ Taskforce the National centre for Transgender Equality.