Friday 24 March 2017

Periods Emotions & Poops


A couple of days ago I was on my period. The pain and flow was so bad that at one point 
I thought my body was rejecting my uterus and extracting it through my vaginal walls. 
I was prepared to just die from the pain and brutal force of the ever wonderful crimson wave.
Horrid!

If none of that was bad enough, from the depth of hell it left in its path tea tree oil
resilient spots, a bloatedness that had its roots in a dark corner in a part of hell 
even demons are scared of. Even that is NOTHING compared to my personally gift wrapped 
present from you guessed it, hell. 

For people who have had the privilege to know me, they will tell you just how much of a badass
I am.
I'm no instagram baddie but I am bad fam, insta baddies wish they were me. 
However this period brought with it a distortion of my awesomeness. I know I was crafted 
by God himself. For the first time I felt like the devil beat my face and body with the 
ugly stick himself. My self esteem was at an all time low. Now I know that the source of 
this dissatisfaction with my reflection was a result of the great red flood, but for some reason 
just like Taylor Swift I just couldn't shake it off. Now I am not writing this as a way to feel
sorry for myself, ain't nobody got time to be doing that.

I am writing this because it occurred to me that some girls feel like this on a daily 
basis. Some girls can't shake this or become indifferent to it. it made me think of
the people I have encountered with numerous stories of their young teenage daughters,
sisters, cousins who have become so consumed with their quest for body perfection that
they skip meals and instead opt for a glass of water.
after reading on snapchat that this is a diet secret of the rich and famous.
The adults who spend millions of pounds making sure their tea cupboards are filled with
teas promising them the key to 'slender' bodies, although ironically these products are pushed by cosmetically enhanced celebrities.


The attitude we have towards the bodies of girls and women needs to change, too many 
women are looking on social media, on their TVs and in magazines and seeing a very narrow 
representation of what beautiful is. When they log on to their instagrams the boys they
like, like images of girls who don't look like them. (Women shouldn't do things for men)
but my point is it's very disheartening when someone you like only seems to like girls who
don't look like you. We are capable of celebrating body diversity. We are not born to all
look the same, some girls will never be skinny size 4s and some girls will never be slim thick
There is a whole conversation of bodies we need to be having regularly and loudly. 
We are doing the next generation harm, and we are meant to be a little more enlightened 
than the generation before us. 

-Mal 

'5k to couch'

P.s Beauty is a social construct used to make you insecure enough 
to buy shit you don't need.  You are beautiful because you are you and 
that by itself is enough to make you the most beautiful person in any room.
That and being kind really. 

Thursday 9 March 2017

Behind every meal is death.

Sometimes it hits me and I think I used to have a father.

And in the blink of an eye I don't.

We might have not always seen eye to eye but fuck me life is lonely.

I would give an eye and a leg to feel as secure as he sometimes made me feel.

In my mind my father never dies, its a pity I don't live there.

For something that we are born to do
I know nothing of you.

I would give so much for even just a minute.
A millisecond.

I no longer dwell on the moments we had.

But rather the moments so prematurely robbed.

Because of you I am.


-Mal 
'5k to couch'