Black Girl Magic

I envied those I loved. 

I lay wretched as my magic healed and comforted them 

Them barely warming my finger 

I never thought I would experience the magic of being loved.

I yearned and waited for the healing and comfort of another’s love

I filled the desire of love with the pacification of my body’s wishes

My wanton body made me forget the magic I longed for. 

The love I gave was the love I needed to show to myself

The magic they consumed greedily now healing me, I fall in love each day as I discover the true depth of my magic. My love feels like a warm blanket, on a chilly night, like a smile in the middle of tears. 

I am healing and comforted by my love as I grow into this awesome ass woman.

Valley Of Death

I am awesome I am power and I am love. 

I have walked through the valley of death and come out the other side stronger than ever. 

I am light I am freedom and I am free. 

Nothing can stop me now.

Be

Often times we get caught up in the act of doing. 

Doing is not inherently bad, it's how we achieve impersonal goals. 

We are always on the move to get the next best white supremacy tell us we not enough as it profits off our creativity and how our bodies. Capitalism keeps us perpetually doing that we forget being. We are told we are not enough and should seek external elements to be fulfilled. Let's celebrate womxn in all their glory just being. 

You babygirl are enough, just as you are. 

You bring light to shade and joy to the soul. 

Connect

In a world of hyper connectivity why do in person connections seem ersatz? 

Self love is the lens of which I  examine, explore and engage with the world around me, its is through this I have learnt to accept what is unchangeable and change what is unacceptable.

Our world thanks to technology is a small place, from our living room we can stream live tv from across the world share the screen with our cousins who live a 5 hour drive away while texting a friend who now lives across the pond. Connection has never been more accessible, from the palm of our hands we are inundated with 24 hour entertainment, beautiful people living supposedly blissful lives, the useless opinions of every Tom, Dick and Harry straight to our eye balls. 

Navigating a socially saturated world offline is becoming increasingly difficult, I assume post Covid this will be harder as we we continue to congregate in our algorithmically sorted echo chambers, we become experts at communicating with peers and eyeing suspiciously the views that differ from our own. Everything online invites us in but on closer inspection often times it is unsteady. 

Lockdown has shown just how reliant we are on a fear based paradigm that reminds us that if our focus is not on our work and others then we are selfish. With the external world no longer accessible the old and rigid ways of thinking can only take us as far the wreckages of past glories.

We can use this time to cultivate more meaning and value into our reality by getting to know ourselves without the noise of the rat race, we are often too occupied with the pursuits of ego to be self aware. Only through this do we gain a sense of inner security and acceptance, we move from reacting to actively creating passion, sensuality and personal depth in our daily lives. 

Improving our relationship with and getting to know self has a ripple effect on the quality of relations in our lives as the walls we build fall to make way for unconditional love, joy and peace. 

While the outside world is out of bounds I find the sweetest and simplest freedoms in dancing, music, laughter, in food and in the silence. 

I am learning that peace is priceless and I am grateful that my garden of peace is blossoming. 

F for Fear

Like the zombie parasites fear burrows its way into us.

It consumes all of us and leaves shells of dreamers

We fear the unknown so we stay in rooms that appear familiar

We fear beginnings so we carry the dead weight of the end 

We fear failure so we do not try

We fear death so we do not live

We fear surrender so we do not ride the wind

We fear change so we become the stagnancy we fear

We cower at the first sight of fear, the momentary heaviness betraying the lightness that comes with facing your fear. 

Can you out run fear or do you simply learn how to harness it? 

P.s Fear without F is ear, so use your ear to learn what the fear is teaching you. 

Liberation Revolution or Work

Collectively we had decided 2020 was our year of manifestation, we wrote our plans, made our vision boards, we held our hands open, our smiles gleaming, our hearts were ready for the goodness that was going to befall us. After all we deserved it, 2019 was hard. 

The system is breaking down just as consistency became more than a vague concept, the loss of control can have a devastating effect on our mental health as we watch the systems that once crashed us, fail before our eyes.
The feelings of control melting away as we continue to ravish Covid related content, the jokes and misinformation feeding the fear causing us to seek out even more information to supposedly discern false information. All this while being fully aware of what we need to do to protect ourselves and our loved ones. 

The time for rest and rediscovery is now, while numerous twitter threads are encouraging us to chase the money, to grind and grind until we can’t grind no more. The shackles of capitalism have been loosened, we can dance them free as we choose to choose to put humanity before profit and picking ourselves each moment. 

Often times it is easy to be unsure of what to be grateful for, especially when you are on your last tenner, you are sofa surfing, you don’t even have the car you put on your vision board, you are a mess. 

Although it doesn’t always feel like it waking each day is a blessing, plus if we are being real with ourselves in England we have more rainy overcast days than we do sunny days. 

There is always going to be something we needing or wanting, beauty lies in being present. We acknowledge our individual power and stand in that, as opportunities start to sprout where once was arid. 

I say all this to say 2020 can still be ours collectively. The system imploding has provided a brief moment to pause. A time to dispose of that which no longer benefits us, while nurturing that which brings us closer to our goals and purpose. 

Collectively this is a time to connect and sow seeds of community that can continue to grow once we are free. Nothing has to stay the same after this, we can move away from symbolic baseless acts. See clapping for NHS.  

This is about the inherent sacraity of our lives, making sure that even when chaos ensures we are still able to be loving to self by way of rest. Also acknowledging that because rest and health are politicised, we must use this time to rest and prioritise our health as an act of liberation and protest.

Globally the time for a revolution is now.

‘The practise of love is the most powerful antidote to the politics of domination…it is only love that transforms our personal relations and heals the wounds of oppression’ Bell Hooks

Cup of Fives

A commitment to healing changes the way we interact with everything inside and around us, almost drastically. We become better acquainted with ego we are capable of identifying, recognising and naming it. Theory goes if you can name it you can fight it.

We remove ourselves from what no longer serves us, and live in bliss rarely thinking of functionality of the systems in place; a ruler does not think constantly of floodgates in drier times. We go through knowing there is something in place. 

We become possessive of this bliss and incubate ourselves, fear of losing this to some trivial happenstance. We must be protective of it. Life isn’t always like these feel good quotes we dash around, sometimes it doesn’t make sense, we just have to respond and react according to what the situation or change calls for. 

When ego wants to rear its head, we know whatever is going on is not for us. The disconnect that ego creates forms a cling film like barrier between what is happening and our sense of self, usually this is when the call for an emulsifier intensifies. We intake in hopes of out putting something that heightens the illusion of unity. If we can’t beat them we must join them. We push through high and drunk, ignoring the silent nudges to put it down and go home, we laugh and talk louder hoping to drown out the cues to get out. We so used to this discomfort it’s become an integral part of our social outings. 

I am learning that mourning is part of growth, we must mourn what we thought we understand, we must mourn what we have redefined. Holding on to the past takes up space and can morph into shame. I am learning that there is goodness all around us, sometimes we have to change our perception. I am learning God really has created a world in which we just have to reach out and get what we need, while yes this is very reductive coz while yes we can reach out and get what we want, there can be factors that can stand in our of realising our desires, perseverance, consistency, determination and passion mean that even deterrents do not throw us off completely. I am learning moments of discomfort are just teachable moments if I harness them completely. I am learning that Lil Wayne is actually a timeless artist, and his old music is very much still very viable and consumable. #noceilings

P.s We theorise and hypothesise how we will react when faced in situations that force our guard up. But all we can do in very situation is stay true to ourselves, some things we can't just leave but self preservation is a must however that must look like. We must always remember to be kind and loving to ourselves each time.