Fuh the Culture

'Hi cuz' the text usually begins, then awkward conversation that has a destination complete with diversions that lengthen the journey. Then the long awaited 'Sis send me some money, even kidogo kidogo £50 will do,napapata'. Amazambians we do not papata often so you know its real. Always real. 

Also £50 is a lot of money guys. I stand by that. 

Both parties are usually aware where this message is going from the initial 'Hi cuz', but it's an intrinsic dance and everyone has a role to play. I must clarify, not all 'Hi cuz', texts end like this and I am grateful for that. Coz it does go without saying, but some of weren't taught comprehensive reading and it shows.

We speak and joke frequently about 'Black tax' and the multiple 'businesses' that our parents have sponsored. We laugh at the idea of having to explain to a non African partner for them to say 'why don't they just get a job'. Unnecessary stress. Yes it's a generalised 1D way of looking at people but some of you groups are mad predictable. And it's about time you were stereotyped and humbled. 

As someone who dates exclusively black - it's not racist, my best friend's mum's husband's neighbour's dog's owner is white - I thought aaah there are so many cultural bullets I am dodging here by dating black.  

But since being with my partner there are so many culturally things and aspects that feel even alien to broach as mere conversational topics.  

How do you start conversations about money you send back home knowing you sending it with no expectation of coming back? How do you talk about things like lobola? How do you talk about language and how our proximities to the English language and Englishness are so different that we might as well might have grown up in different countries? How do you talk about the importance of language, how its weaponization means certain words feel weird from my mouth and when heard make me shift in my seat. 

The questions and curiosities lay both ways I am sure - if not this is a tad awkward - that's the fascinating thing about intercultural dating, you find out how the other half live.  

P.s - I ate fucking snails, ass and flipping foie gras, each a delicacy in their own right. One I won't be trying again.  

P.p.s - Its interesting how we see the world and interact with the people in it, thats not all based on cultural aspects but their significance can't be overlooked.